I’m pretty confident I read a million and one baby books (while I was working at Mothercare and the day was slow – don’t hate, retail is a bore) and every. single. one. told me that Edith would/should/could be sleeping through the night by now. Yet for all the shoulda, woulda, couldas in the world, that little girl is still resisting and waking up at least once a night for a decent feed. The fact that her diet is appalling and the only things she eats with enthusiasm is chocolate, mash potatoes and plain pasta (in that order) probably doesn’t help but I am shattered.
Like stick a fork in me, I’m done, kind of shattered.
The last few months have seen a few changes in our “toddler sleeping routine” – Edith has gone from demanding a feed in the middle of the night by shouting from her cot, to figuring out (courtesy of her biggest brother – cheers Roo) that she can actually climb OUT of the cot and come get “boob” (her affectionate name for me) as and when she pleases. To add insult to injury, the clever little madam decided that if she could get out of her bed and come through to me for a feed, she could also refuse to go back to her own bed and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it… in fact, she could refuse to ever go to bed. Que a very unpleasant evening struggling to eat (another) take away and “chill out” while her ladyship made her way down the stairs 6 times to stealth steal the prawn crackers and join in watching Notting Hill, which was only finished by me sleeping on a snuggle sac in her bedroom on the floor. My days of being able to sleep anywhere and everywhere have passed my friends and solid floors are no longer kind to my body at 2am.
But what to do?
The way I look at it, Edith can’t be left to climb out of her bed, it’s so dangerous, what if she falls and lands at a funny angle or hits her head hard enough to cause damage and more than just tears? That very thought alone was enough to keep me awake at night, and though she never hurt herself once, I couldn’t take the chance. The problem with changing her cot to a bed is that it did absolutely nothing to stop her getting out of bed or waking up in the night… but what choices did I have?
So, changing her bed it is.
We changed her bed over last week and we’ve done our best to make it a really special experience for her, all her teddies are set up on her bed, with new bedding, a pillow and a brand new mattress. I’ve written about the importance of getting the right mattress and (since I’ve been spending 1-2 hours every night with my arse hanging off the edge of her new Emma mattress), I can confidently say that it is super comfy. We chose Emma mattress for it’s soft top layer, but predominantly it’s supportive pocket springs. I’m not one to buy a new bed for the kids on a frequently basis, I believe in buying a product for longevity which means making an investment the first time and not having to run into issues in the long term.
Since plopping Edith into her new bed, we have found that she has been up for a good hour, refusing to go back to sleep after her feed and as the whole scenario has kicked off the week that Toby has started “big boy school” I haven’t felt happy to leave her in her room to sort herself out after a snuggle or two. I know that she doesn’t need the mid-night breastfeed, and yet here we are. One thing we have done to try and make life a bit safer for her is put the stair gate on her bedroom door. That way, though she can open her bedroom door (crafty minx) she can’t actually get out and fall down the stairs or make her way into the boys room where she would no doubt clamber into the top bunk.
It’s a tough one isn’t it? I’m tired, she’s tired… we’re all so bloody tired! Only time is going to help Edith get out of this routine and to be honest, the baby books are in the bin along with empty coffee tubs and my sanity.
H x
Well my son is 11 and he still doesn’t and never has slept through the night. We tried everything with him, read every book, sought lots of advice and even shovelled melatonin down him and none of it works so now we just accept he doesn’t sleep. I might write a book about that! I think it does get better for most people though … eventually!
I hope it has gotten easier since then! My kids didn’t sleep through the night until they were over two years old. The only changes we made were weaning from the dummy and breastfeeding/bottle….then they just slept….I was so shocked it worked so easily for us. We also have a super picky first child who only eats things like you mention. That’s tough, too!
So good to read about a toddler not sleeping through when I have the health visitor raising eyebrows at my 8 month old waking me twice for a feed. Thanks.
I have 2 non sleepers here. It’s exhausting! I totally sympathise!
Ohhh Naomi it is SO hard!! She’s been getting a bit better this last week, but then has 1-2 horrendous nights and it makes it worse as there is no routine!
That photo is amazing!! I have no advice myself as I don’t have kids, but I hope it starts to get easier for you!
Aw thanks Hayley!
I know this probably doesn’t help but I do love that picture! I hope you are ok, it is tough, so tough, (and as a first-time mum of a five month old, very daunting!). I send you caffeine and the promise of a better night, eventually, at some point, it will happen xx
Ahh thank you lovely x
I can’t imagine how tough it is, I know my aunt really struggled with my cousin. I guess every child is different but I’m sure it’ll get better – it has to! x
Thanks lovely x
Same with Eric but he’s 15 months and wakes about 10 times a night for boob 🙁
Ahh it’s so hard!
You have my sympathy, it must be difficult for you and for her to be tired during the day but not be able to get a good night’s sleep.
So tough – but she is worth it 🙂 x
I have no advice at all but I hope it all eases for you soon! Each child is different so ignore what the books say, I know it isn’t easy as there are so many expectations on us Mums. It’s so unfair 🙁 Do what is right for you but try to take care of you too hun. On a different note, will have to check out that mattress….thinking of getting our little one a new bed but will have to see if funds allow!xx
Oh do – it’s so much comfier (one of the bonuses of having her in a “big girl” bed means I’m not so uncomfy trying to squish in her bed!)
I am sure after reading this that you are quite shattered! If only the babies/children could read these books and follow the directions and do what they are supposed when the books say they will, ha! I do hope that things settle down for you soon and that Her Ladyship will stay in her bed and let you get some rest xx
Thank you lovely x
I don’t have kids yet so cant offer much advise, my nephew luckily sleeps through the night and up at crack of dawn. The only issue with him is getting him to sleep when I visit. Normally 78pm his in bed when I visit midnight or even 2am and he will still be up at 5am energetic as ever 😥 😯
Whhhhattttt?? That would kill me haha!
Hopefully her sleep routine will get better. i wouldn’t go by the books as they are not entirely right x
They aren’t even close Hannah!
Every child is so different, there really isn’t one rule for all. My baby just slept for 3 hours straight for the first time and that felt amazing.
So true Dannii!
I feel your pain, my boy is 8 now, last year he had a period of night terrors which led to him coming into our room about every 15 minutes throughout the night. we were all shattered.
Oh no! It’s soooo tiring right?
Aw no, I hope her sleep routine improves soon! Sometimes it can take time to adjust to a new bed, I’ve even found that as an adult!
It’s tough right?
Oh no I wish I had some advice I could give my son was a nightmare toddler when it came to bed time I put a stair gate on his door and just let him scream and he soon got the idea, he has never woke during the night though. X
Oh thank you Jade, I’m afraid it’s the middle of the night for Miss E and she would wake her brothers up 🙁
It must be so hard for you to try and get into a routine when things are like that, but unlike the books everyone is different x
Exactly Rhian!
Te books say a lot of things don’t they! She will get there in her own time.
Don’t they just haha!