I posted this to my instagram with the caption ‘Two bums and a Princess’… I love it and I think it is inherently innocent and cute.
There has been quite a bit in the media of late, especially after career blogger Perez Hilton posted snaps of him and his son in the shower together, about nudity and bathing/showering with children. It’s something I’ve never understood and the fact that it seems to be quite common for people to be against nudity around kids or bathing with kids, completely and utterly baffles me.
For me, nudity is natural, especially for children. We quite often get comments from friends or close family because all three children run around our house and garden in the nude. We call it nudey-rudey in our home, we make a joke of it and none of us find it odd. At the end of the day, these children are of my flesh, they grew inside me and they came out of my vagina… Naked. I’m pretty sure their nudity isn’t an issue.
Obviously I’m talking about little children and their nudity. The boys or Edith might find that as they get older they aren’t comfortable being naked around us, and if that time comes, we may not wish to be nude around them, but the truth is, I’m not going to freak out if the kids walk into the room as I’m changing when they are teens. They are forever a part of me, and I am of them. To find nudity in front of children, or your children nude in front of you, embarrassing or uncomfortable is worrying in my mind. I find it indicative of something concerning, something sinister. I just don’t understand it.
I also find the whole ‘bathing with children is wrong’ stance completely weird. In what reality could it be ‘wrong’ or ‘weird’ unless you make it so? Is there something inherently sexual about nudity? I don’t think so. I frequently have a bath or shower with the kids, and so does Adam. It’s just a normal part of our daily routine and half of the time the kids will climb into the bath with me, despite being very much uninvited! Ha, we’ve all been there right? You’ve seen the mum memes!
To further this train of thought, I often think that mums are able to bathe or shower with their kids but dads are considered unable. Why? A man hasn’t grown a baby, hasn’t birthed a baby, but that baby is as much a physical part of him as it is of mum. I’ve discussed this at length with Adam and before we had Edith he never thought anything to it, but now he has a daughter he has mentioned that he doesn’t think he would be able to have her in the shower with him in the way he does the boys at school age, purely for fear of what others may say or do. He’s also discussed it with Daddy pals and they have (for the majority) said the same thing. Personally, I’m a fuck it kind of gal, it really isn’t important to me what others think, but I can understand why a grown man would fear allegations that something more than just a Dad cleaning (because, you know, that’s kind of the function of a shower) his child, especially with media witch hunts and the seemingly snap happy judgements of keyboard warriors. Can we grow up and stop assuming that everyone is a sexual predator? They aren’t, especially when it comes to their own kids.
Lastly, I sleep nude. I always have (unless it’s freezing, in which case I will chuck a top on.) I also co-sleep with my daughter and have two little boys that frequently climb into bed with me. I make no apology for this or feel strange about it. I guess as the boys get older if they don’t want to come into bed and snuggle, they won’t… But I won’t change the way I have been for the last 20 years to please them.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this? Do you allow your kids to see you nude? Do you bathe/shower with them?
H x
I belong to family nudist resort and the only place that you have to be nude is in the pools. The kids of both sex’s have a time of there life’s, there may be 4000 people there on a weekend and the kids join in on the dancing etc. there are no orgies etc. It isn’t about sex at all and there are rules in place for that reason. This place caters to the kids with high grade playground equipment etc. We all shower together but there are separate bathrooms for boys and girls I wish I had been raised that way I would have had alot better body imaged at P.E. and sports at school .
I don’t have an issue with nudity, I too sleep in the nude so my children are used to it. My hubby isn’t keen on me being around when he’s having a shower so it doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t want the girls to be bit I often shower or bathe with them and it has never been an issue with them, him or me. People need to get over themselves an stop being prudes :-#
I love this article!! My two young boys 2 and 5 love being nude, and see it as totally normal that on a hot day Daddy should be too. To be honest if I didn’t join in I think it would make a bigger body image problem than when I do join in.
Also, I want my boys to see what a woman’s body looks like. That after children some of us have stretch marks and bellies, that our thighs (and other bits) aren’t rock solid but that Daddy loves it anyway. I don’t think boys or girls should grow up having unrealistic expectations of how their bodies should look; surely that way leads to bullying and self hate?!
And how you can sexualise either parent washing, bathing or showering a child of either sex I have no idea, it’s weird!!!! Surely cleaning your child is natural? Just makes me want to rant.
Thank you so much for this article. We live by the same principles as yourselves. I recently had a friends husband tell me he thought it wasn’t right that my husband bathed with our 2 daughters. I was so shocked I was speechless. I agree with you it is bonding and teaches our children that there is no shame in their bodies. I am sure as they gt older things will change but it will be my daughters decision as to when and how it happens.
I’m so pleased you feel the same way Liz and I think it’s sad and awful that your friend’s husband had such a bad attitude – maybe you should have asked him if he sexualised his children. I just find it frustrating that people think there is something wrong with such a normal thing – you don’t want to do it yourself, fine, but don’t tell me I’m wrong because I’m not a pervert that thinks having my clothes off around children automatically means I have a sexual intent. It’s childish and really does contribute to the poor body image teens have nowadays. H 🙂
Crumbs, my grandparents used to share a bed with their siblings in the same room as their parents! What would the politically correct crew make of that?
I used to bathe with the kids when they were small. My eldest vaguely remembers my long dark hair, she thinks she had a bath with a mermaid. I believe she was three at the time.
Like you, I don’t believe nudity should be associated with sex. And we do everything possible to make sex a normal conversation rather than making it something that’s never mentioned or spoken of in hushed tones. Simply because if we give it a mysterious attribute the kids will want to explore it sooner. Plenty enough time for that, and we tend to focus on healthy relationships rather than avoiding the conversations.
We’re parents. We have a duty to raise our kids to be happy and healthy. Sexualising aspects of parenting is just sick in my opinion… in fact I feel a right old rant coming on!
Ha – rant on Sarah! I couldn’t agree more – sexualising parenting is insane and I can’t help but feel that people that do it shouldn’t be parents. That being said, I have no issue with people who choose not to be nude around their kids (i.e. would say, Can you leave the room I’m getting changed etc) provided they don’t think it’s wrong. Thanks for the comment lovely 🙂
I’ve bathed with both my boys and although my 8 year old no longer shares a bath he still sits chatting to me while I’m in the bath and thinks nothing of wandering around the house naked or playing in the paddling pool naked and I can’t stop my little nudey-rudey 4 year old getting naked and dive bombing my bath. It’s normal/natural. They do however keep clothes on if we have visitors.
My youngest prefers to be naked I’m surprised he hasn’t stripped off at school yet, his idea of getting changed after school is to strip off down to his pants.
I used to just sleep in shorts – easier when breastfeeding but I tend to wear a vest as well now but that’s because winter is coming and it’s a little chillier.
Thanks for the comment Laura, I think that’s lovely that your 8 year old is confident and comfortable around you – by setting a bar for when that type of behaviour should stop, I think that we can really set in to motion this poor body confidence and image that we see among teens.