“I don’t want that one, I want my teddies!!”
Toby has just spent 25 minutes screaming and whining because I told him he could only bring one dinosaur with him in the car for our shop to the store. Sorry buddy, but mommy really can’t take 462 dinosaurs to the store and lug around you, your sister AND buy food. That shit ain’t happening kid so get over it.
Which he did. When he decided that dinosaur #1 was the wrong choice and he wanted his teddies instead. Que another 20 minutes of dramatic tears, spontaneous whinges and over-all asshole-liness (it’s a word. For the purpose of this post – it’s a word.)
It’s 10am and this is not the only meltdown that we have had this morning, oh hell no. This is meltdown number 124, but I thought I’d share some of my personal favourites with you all:
#1 His sister got up.
#2 His sister looked at his teddy in the “wrong” way.
#3 He was asked to eat his breakfast.
#4 He was given the wrong spoon to eat the breakfast that he didn’t want in the first place.
#5 His brother was playing with his own toys and offered to share the wrong coloured one.
#6 He had to go to the toilet… alone.
#7 He was asked to get dressed.
#8 I dressed him.
#9 I chose the wrong socks.
#10 I told him I loved him and he would always be my baby boy.
#11 He isn’t 2 any more.
Those are just a few, you don’t have time to read the rest but I assure you, they are as steeped in bullshitery as these are. Which brings us to Dinosaur/Teddy gate.
I don’t know what it is at the moment. I’ve written before about how having a two year old is genuinely nothing compared to the horror of having a three year old but I can honestly say I don’t remember his brother being THIS bad. It’s like trying to rationalise with Donald Trump – totally fucking pointless. He just keeps on shaking that head and spouting out crap – usually because he hasn’t got his own way. See the parallel I’m drawing here?
It’s getting to the point now where, quite frankly, I don’t know what to do with him. I remember when I was pregnant with my first, I used to watch parents with their kids and I often commented to my mom that I hated it when you heard parents telling their kids to “shut up”, what an awful phrase… Now I consider myself winning if I don’t throttle him whilst shouting “shut the fuck up” in public, never mind telling him to shut up. The patience this child requires is enough to make Ghandi want to smack a bitch.
Don’t get me wrong, Tobes is a wonderful, charming, funny and well rounded child (obvs, he’s mine…) but this whiney, whingey attitude has only really started to take shape in the last few months and already I’m tearing my hair out. It is so so much worse than I have ever experienced before and, not gonna lie, I was hoping we’d skipped it with the mild grumbles at the age of 2.
Do they offer boarding school for 3 year olds? If so, those parenting toddlers would probably take them up on it.
Going through something similar with Master 2 and because hes still leaning how to pronounce words we both get frustrated. Me not knowing what he wants and him mummy wont get me what I want.
I’m so very sorry to tell you but their determination gets stronger as they get older. Believe me it’s far worse when they reach their teens
I bypassed meltdowns and tantrums with Jack thankfully but know that it’s only a matter of time before they happen with Phoebs!!! Eeeeek!! Great post : ) x
Haha – hoping you have unusual kids that just bypass it all!
This is brilliant! I can totally relate. Screw the terrible twos, they are a breeze! Lamb wa s3 in March and I’ve seen more unreasonable meltdowns in the last couple of weeks than I did in the first couple of years he’s been alive. X
Haha it’s insane isn’t it?! Its like someone flicked a switch!
Ha ha, so true! I feel like everyone goes on about the terrible twos but I am finding my just turned 3 year old getting more challenging not less!
Thanks Emma – it’s worse in my experience, so so much worse!!
They’re so precise and prescriptive of what they want or don’t want, it’s annoying but funny. Thankfully N was ok at 2, but at 3 we did have a month of ‘no’s.
Haha the month of no has been extended in our home to a year or six of no! Hx
It actually doesn’t get much better as they age ha my 17 year old still has the occasional meltdown lol
Nooooo Emma! Get off the blog, how could you say such a thing haha! H x
Oh bless you, I hope it gets better soon. Dealing with the terrible twos can be difficult and just toddlers and children in general.Haha I love that maybe they do have boarding school for children 😛
Haha they do and I recently discovered that they do have it from the age of 3 years old!! Whhaaaatttt! H x
I can totally relate. My twins are going to be 3 in November and they have a meltdown every few minutes.
Gah! Two of them melting down at the same time!
Haha sorry had to laugh – I’m going through similar with my monkey except its cars and not dinosaurs. He thinks we can take a whole bag full of cars to Tesco.
Argh – so frustrating right?!
Oh they can be so difficult at that age. They really know how to voice their opinions! I had to laugh at the sister looking at him in the wrong way – reminds me of the mafia or something. lol My daughter will tell me what she wants to eat then get upset when I give to her as she no longer wants that. I can tell you that they grow out of it so hang tough! x
Haha that is so true – to be fair she is a little mafia mrs! H x
Oh tell me about it! Pickle was 3 in October and had brought shopping centres, parks, full on streets to a standstill with his tantrums. It is a very testing time! I wonder if it maybe the coat? Pickle has the same one 😉 Kaz x
It must be! Down with the temper tantrum coat 😉 Hx
Oh I can totally relate. My 4 year old has these meltdown and my 6 year old is worse when she has a meltdown haha!
It is amazing how awful some things can seem when you are a child. Mind you I sometimes think I would rather those simpler days lol. x
Great post, it made me chuckle. You’ve a great writing style 🙂
I love this post, I have 3 mini people and know exactly where you are coming from. It’s hard work.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! I laughed the entire way through reading this. I know you didn’t but hey when it’s not my 3-year-old playing up then it’s funny, sorry! Great read!
I could have written this myself! I got through the twos easily and the first half of the year my daughter was three. But oh my I am getting it in bucket loads now, making up for lost time!! X
Oh gosh kids can be a real terror sometimes. I am in awe of mother’s who manage to go through this day after day and still carry on!
Aw I love this so much! I love how children have their little dramas over the most strange of things!
It’s all so dramatic for them isn’t it – either desperate tears or exuberant joy. My daughter has a particular tone of whinge that instantly drives me mad!
I’m sure lots of parents will be familiar with these meltdowns, my sisters would nod at all these reasons 🙂
So funny, at least unlike Donald Trump he’s adorable. Can’t believe how many strops he’s throwing, I only used to when I didn’t get my own way x
ahhh toddlers. The craziest species!! Don’t forget giving them a cookie or cracker – if it splits in two they’re not happy haha
I remember this so well. My daughter is 5 now and sometimes still have the same conversation with her “No, you can’t bring x number of toys to the shop!” Sigh. Love that photo of your little one 🙂
Blake at 15 months is starting to get stroppy when he can’t get his own way. I’ve got all this sort of thing to come by the looks of it.
Sounds like you have a threenager there – Sebby is two and a half and hasn’t quite started this yet but I am sure it won’t be long.
While I’m sticking my fingers in my ears and refusing the acknowledge the 3 is worse than 2 part of your post, my experience with my 2 year old had me nodding along and googling toddler boarding schools too. There’s no point in even trying to reason with them some days, all we can do is keep drinking coffee and counting down until the time they’re fast asleep…