Do you remember (if you didn’t go all 21st September Trolls edition on me there then you need to have a chat with yourself) we went away to Amsterdam a few weeks ago? Well we did, and you can read all about our Amsterdam trip here. Anyway, I was speaking to someone a few days ago about our trip and they weren’t listening to all the fun things we did and how I said I missed the kids etc and one of the questions that they asked me was “Did you call them every day?” and I have to confess the answer is no.
When I thought about this I felt really guilty. No, we didn’t call them every day. We were gone for 4,/5 days and we only spoke to them once. We called to let them know that we had arrived but we didn’t actually speak to them again until Friday afternoon when we picked them up. We had daily updates from my mother in law and replied in text message which I’ve been told by Reuben she read out to the kids and we sent them pictures of what we were doing but call them? No.
I remember when I was younger if someone had said to me that they didn’t call their child when they were away on holiday together, I would have judged them for it (ohh young Harriet, you judgemental, know-fuck-all cow) but now that I have children, it didn’t even cross my mind that I should call them to speak to them every day. Would you?
We were having a really good time on our little holiday and the kids were having a really good time with their grandparents but I have this nagging feeling that Toby is going to turn around to me in 10 years time and declare that there was once a time we went to Amsterdam and didn’t even call them all even though they were hoping we would. We never said that we would call them, and as I said we had contact all the time, but looking back I don’t think I would do it differently anyway.
I really missed the kids, really missed them and when they came home it was apparent that they really missed me. I think by not having that constant on-the-phone contact with them it really made a difference and gave a us all a proper break from each other, a real separate that 100% made the heart grow fonder once we were back together. They had so much fun with their Grandparents and I would have felt pretty shitty had I called and they just weren’t really interested in speaking to me… so I didn’t. I also didn’t want to find out that they would ask me where I was or just get upset that I wasn’t there – especially Edith, so perhaps a little bit of out of sight, out of mind was at play too, though they genuinely were never out of our minds.
What do you think? Would you ring your kids every day or do you think that you would do what I did and just not?
My older kids have left home and I speak to them about once a week, but its always me that calls them…….unless they want something. Hubby goes away for week quite a lot and always phones to say goodnight, but if we go away for an evening, we don’t tend to call them
I don’t call everyday when I’m away either. Like you I check in by text loads but calling just gets them all worked up and I think it’s best to leave them to enjoy their time with Mark/Grandma/whoever without distruption. It’s only a few days! My only exception is if I’m away for work for a night, then I tend to Skype them at bedtime once I get to my hotel but that’s a bit different as it happens quite a lot so is more my way of try to keep some continuity.
I think I would be the same as you. I’ve never been away from Olivia in her 14 months of life but I did go away from Friday to Sunday evening to Paris when Jack was just about to turn 4. I called once, the only reason I spoke to him again was because Steve rang me otherwise I probably wouldn’t have rang again.
I don’t have kids so I don’t really know if I had I would call them or not. They weren’t home alone so I think it’s ok but each to their own right
No I would be the same as you. I wouldn’t ring my kids at all. We are never away from the kids. It’s always just one parent. I know how fun of a couple are we but we have no one to mind the kids. Anyway if We were to call the kids every day, it would make them miss us even more if you know what I mean. By not being in contact too much they are even more excited to see us again