One thing I’ve always admired about my husband is that he has this uncanny ability to play with the kids for hours on end without displaying an ounce of boredom, disinterest or desperation to run for the coffee filled hills.
I’m going to level with you, I am not a play lover. I don’t so much lack imagination as I do patience and the ability to “play nicely” when the kids are essentially making a mess of the things we’ve spent hours setting up. I remember one especially eye-twitchingly frustrating time when we set up a train track of epic proportions – I mean, this thing made Sodor look like a couple of ruins and a fat guy totally out of the loop – and within about 4 minutes of play time, the kids had destroyed it. The annoyance, the frustration, the overwhelming desire to scream at the top of my lungs as I watched a perfectly balanced twirly-wurly spiral track crash down as a careless foot booted it while little hands pelted Thomas the twat engine towards Knapford.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch the kids play, there really is nothing I enjoy more than watching their little minds coming up with various crazy ideas and when they play together I swoon. That’s where the line stops though because as soon as I hear the words “Mummy will you play with me?” I feel like I’m being asked to perform a 3 hour maths exam without a calculator… I just don’t want to.
Then comes the mum guilt. Adam can do it, there are millions of people out there who can do it and would relish the opportunity to stay at home and play with the kids or be able to have an extra flexible working arrangement, and here I am not cherishing those most precious and fleeting of moments where my children are still little and wanting of me, still sweet and full of imagination. Why can’t I bloody well enjoy this? Why does the thought of setting up a mock battle with the transformers bore me to tears? I feel like a genuinely naff mum, it’s a pretty simple ask to play with children.
Then I remind myself of the things I do love to do. I love to bake and cook with the kids, I love to go foraging through the woods, I will play until the cows come home at soft play… so am I really that bad? Probably not.
When I’ve mentioned it to friends I’ve found I’m not so alone. Apparently play time is one of the things that inspires medication (or wine) in a lot of parents – and it doesn’t stop there. Adam will get his colour on with the kids, but chuck a bit of paint in there and the guy gets hives. He doesn’t like woodland walks (Center Parcs is not his happy place) and baking is a no go. I love all of those things, as a team we are giving the kids a pretty well rounded beginning – hopefully not fucking them up too much in the process.
So play time, you’re not for me. I am a conscientious objector… however if you ever fancy baking a brownie, hit me up.
What about you? Are there aspects of parenting that you struggle with?
H x
It’s normal and okay. Give them 5-10 minutes and then step away. Kids are well-equipped to play under just about any circumstance, and who wants to be a helicopter parent anyhow?
Do try hide and seek – forgot how fun that can be just waiting for the tykes to find you. Good luck!
Argh me too!!
I love setting things up and craft activities, board games etc etc – basically things that have an actual point (!!!) But I can’t do free play
I struggle with having to sit with the girls for hours on end doing homework. We don’t get that much work but when you also factor in that from the tutors and the extra I give then it’s a lot of work and I f they just got on with it it would take a third of the time.
I love playing with my kids. I actually enjoy playing with kids in general. I just wish I had more time to do that. I am usually doing all sorts at the same time.
I love wandering through the woods, water fights, tag, den making, picnics and have drunk my share of pretend cups of tea, but I HATE crafts. The glue, the glitter, the tiny bits of coloured paper everywhere, THE MESS!!! It just ain’t my thing. But I don’t feel bad about it because I do other stuff, like… well, I can’t think of anything at the moment, but it’s awesome fun and they love it, OK??? 😉 x
I love your honesty. This is why I love reading your posts, I never had adults play with me being an only child even if asked but it didn’t phase me once I’d start playing. I could only imagine the range of emotions but as you said you do have other sharing // playtime abilities with your children which is the positive xo
It’s great that you feel able to say this – I think everyone has different talents when it comes to aspects of parenting, so it’s good you can share the load with your husband!
Oh I hear ya. It’s the repetitiveness of it that gets to me. My daughter is 2.5 and her current obsession is ‘making me food’ using wooden blocks. It’s cute and I love her imagination but… pretending to eat a wooden block every 5 minutes drives me mad.
Thank god for this post… what’s worse, is when you start playing and they tell you you’re doing it wrong!
We are going through a Star Wars phase in our house and my husband let me in to a secret… always offer to be Jabba the Hut!! That way you don’t have to move
It’s great that you both complement each other. It’s the same with hubby and myself – we have different interests, which works well together! 🙂
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That is a very honest opinion on the matter, which not many of us would dare to confess. For me it also depends on the type of game, I’m OK with board games, though if we have to play Snakes and ladders one more time, I’m gonna scream. 🙂
I don’t have any kids, but fear a day like this when I do! I imagine hearing that your kids want to play with you fills you with joy, the thought that they are actually wanting to spend time with you. However this must be hard! I know i would get bored. That being said, no person is perfect at every aspect of parenthood. I used to think as a child, my mum loved watching kiddie programmes with me. Of course she didn’t! She said recently that she was so happy when I watched more adult things…my point is, you don’t need to enjoy it for it to mean something to your children 🙂 it’s being there that means something. What a wonderfully honest post!
I don’t particularly enjoy playing with toys with my kids either, but we do other things together that we all enjoy – outdoor hiking adventures, baking in the kitchen, etc. But yea, sitting there playing Pokemon cards is not my idea of fun either!
I don’t have any children but I’d imagine that when I do, playtime will be the hardest for me as I haven’t got much of an imagination! xxx
It depends what my son is asking me to do. If it’s sitting there watching a train go around a track a million times then no, I just can’t do it. But for anything really interactive or fun learning, I enjoy!
My mummy is completely the opposite and loves playing with me, she sometimes sits there role playing, dressing up or playing with mini figures for ages. Its the baking she can’t do….she’s a bit rubbish at it and I make a lot of mess that drives her crazy xx
I think you’re quite right, it’s about finding the activities you and your child can enjoy together 🙂
oooo I ‘m with you. It does sound horrible, but I’m just not good at it. I find it so monotonous. Maybe when he’s older I may find it more riveting but who knows. I love days out, getting messy outdoors. I just can’t hack it indoors.
What an amazingly honest post! I used to love playing with my niece and nephews when they were younger but I refuse to believe anyone who loves sitting for hours on end watching kids tv haha