Parental anxiety, it’s got me in its grips.

I’ve mentioned on many occasion on the blog that I am a bit of a worrier, and I’m not kidding when I say that. I think that’s one of the reasons Adam and I work well, he’s so laid back he’s horizontal and I’m such a worrier or ‘stress head’ as he puts it. Between us we create balance.

Lately I’ve been worrying about inexplicable things, and really worrying. We’re talking lying awake in the dead of night worrying. It’s mostly been about the children and something happening to them, everything from sickness to home invasions to school attacks. I don’t know what has triggered it but I do feel very silly and I was beginning to wonder if other Mamas have the same fears and sudden panics.

To put it in perspective, I went to bed a few nights ago and as I was lying there I suddenly thought, “What the hell will I do with 3 small children if someone breaks into my home? Where can I hide them to keep them safe? Would they make it if I tried to bundle them all out of the window? Would Edith cry and give away the boys, should I separate them or are they better together? What if there is a fire, where are my escape routes? What if we go shopping tomorrow and someone brings a gun into asda… It’s war weekend so lots of people have replicas…. Can school and preschool keep the boys safe?” These were just a few of the thoughts that started to run through my mind. I can honestly say the only thing that got me to sleep was making a decision as to exactly where I would put the kids in a home invasion, how we’d get out in a fire and making a promise to myself that I would suss out our local Asda for potential escape routes. I live in a town where the most notable thing in ‘recent’ history is our link to Charles Dickens – that’s how slow life is here. You would think we were living in the middle of a Mexican cartel zone the way I was carrying on.

Now, for those reading this wondering if I’ve lost the plot (I lost that ages ago, don’t fret) I don’t have a logical explanation for these fears. I read a tonne of crime fiction novels, I think of it as my escape from the humdrum of daily life because I am never going to be Rizzole or Isles, and I also read a lot as part of my job. I follow a fair few US bloggers too who seem to share an endless barrage of gun crimes involving children. It has become such a common occurrence for school attacks in the US that they have gun drills to help children learn what to do, so is it any wonder that these fears creep into our minds.

After a little bit of research (funnily enough at 4am after a particularly horrendous nightmare where I had to hide 3 small children from a gunman in our local town) it isn’t just me that feels this way, the ‘condition’ if you like is termed ‘parental anxiety’, and is incredibly common in both men and women (though more so in women) during the first 2 years of their child’s life. I read a piece a few weeks ago that I hailed ridiculous, where the author slammed mums who leave their kids in the car to go into the shop for milk because “what about pedophiles or if a gun man came into the shop” which just goes to show she has the insane fear too, despite it being a ludicrous reason to take children out of the car for a bottle of milk or to pay for fuel. Maybe I was too quick to think her stance was ‘ridiculous’ if she was having the same illogical fears as me. There are also countless threads like this one on Mumsnet of mum’s with similar, totally illogical, fears. It turns out that as modern parents we are quite prone to these fears and worries, in fact since 9/11 parents have fessed up to being increasingly concerned about their children’s safety, despite studies showing that we don’t really have more to fear than ever before.

Do you feel these fears? Does it get to you too? Let me know I’m not alone here!!

H x