We have become a grumpy lot haven’t we? I know 2016 wasn’t exactly the dogs bollocks, it was a dire year for many, politically and socially, but I really can’t help but feel that the world in general is sliding into an apathy like none we’ve known before.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about some shitty teenage girls in Nando’s and how they had behaved towards Edith who really was being well behaved. The post was shared into a mum group on Facebook – the pinnacle of intelligence and kindness these groups, of course – only for one woman to write “Ugh, I’m so sick of these mummy bloggers. How pathetic. What a cringe person, “I have a social media clout” – talk about loving yourself. I bet her little snowflake was being a right little shit”.
Really? So sick of mummy Bloggers that you had time to comment on an article and refer to a child that you don’t know as a “snowflake being a little shit”. Hold the phone honey.
Firstly, Edith was actually being very behaved – something that this woman wouldn’t have known, however if she was a reader of the blog, or the vast majority of the “mummy blogs” she’s so sick of, she’d know that I rarely hide Edith’s beastly moments. Or Reuben’s. Or Toby’s. Or even my marital cracks, my family niggles and my parental fails. What is the point?
This is the reason that mummy Bloggers ARE important in 2017. I’ve heard it said before that a “mummy blogger” is just making stuff up, telling everyone about their perfect lives and their ability to craft a Pinterest worthy birthday party from pure talent and cardboard. This simply isn’t true. Perhaps once it was. Perhaps once upon a time the “mummy blogger” was an unattainable illusion that made parenting look like something out of a bugaboo magazine (we all remember that epic fail of an advert with the sport bra toting mother jogging with her bambino and totally trim figure that suggested she’d never seen a pizza let alone shovelled the half eaten crusts of shame in her mouth from kiddies left over plates…) Maybe once upon a time “mummy bloggers” gave the illusion that their marriages, homes and lifestyles were effortlessly flawless and reviewed products that they thought were awful but recommended them anyway because, hello paycheck… but now?
That isn’t what a mummy blogger is about.
Mummy, or mommy Bloggers, are paramount to a society where being NORMAL, and totally your own version of that, has more public sway that being a celebrity spending 40,000 a month on her hair for a L’Oréal sponsorship… you can’t connect with that can you? Unless you’re Elton John, chances are you aren’t connecting with the Kardashian lifestyle, but you CAN connect with the mum who lives around the corner and types on her laptop about how hard parenting can be, how much she just longs for a day off but misses the kids when they aren’t there. You can connect with the mum who is working out a budget for her weekly meals because she’s skint after Christmas, the mum who HATES to craft, the mum who LIVES to craft, the mum who finds the other school mum’s a drain, the mum who’s only social circle is the school parents.
All of these women (and more frequently men are bringing dad blogging to the fore – something that I think would be vastly useful for men who just don’t TALK about their feelings… not mentioning names but it rhymes with Fadam…) are real people, sharing their experiences and hoping that somewhere out there it helps, it makes a difference and in turn helps them. When I was struggling with Edith earlier last year, I read so many wonderful blogs about postnatal depression, and I sobbed, I held my baby and I put my truth down on paper. It wasn’t to earn money – though make no mistake I do earn money through blogging and you will find a plethora of sponsored content, some of which will probably surprise you on this blog – it was to reach out and say “This is happening to me, this is my life”… because do we really care what Kendall Jenner are more than we do having a comrade in arms say “This shit is hard”?
Either way, ordinary is the black, and my child is anything but a snowflake.
I think they have had a place for years and always will for many years. Love your blog x
I admire mummy bloggers who share so much stuff about their lives. Well done to you Harriet for keeping it real and saying how it is. Shame on the kids in Nando’s.
Thank you so much xx
Well said. I love all the bloggers keeping it real. Sure there are still some ‘Martha Stewart’ style parent blogs but they seem to be in the minority now.
My last blog post touched on this subject. I just don’t understand why people have to be mean? If you don’t like a blog, there’s no reason you have to read it. There’s so much internet out there, they can keep on scrolling. Nobody is forced to read anything.
I personally hate the phrase mummy blogger, not sure why exactly, but I am (a very new) one. Really enjoyed reading this. Trolls on the internet eh, who needs ’em.
Little cheeky Nando shits!
It is reassuring that a blogger that is as prominent as you feels that dad blogs are also important and we not just wasting our time.
Mummy blogs definitely have a place in 2017! I’ve recently started my blog and find it so therapeutic to write about life and motherhood – I’ve written about my very severe anxiety and my daughter’s operation for some February posts, so I’m definitely not portraying my life as perfect!
What mother has a perfect life anyway? Children are messy, noisy and time-consuming. It’s a wonder we have any sanity left by the end of the day sometimes. Mummy blogs are so refreshing – you see that other people are also going through struggles and get to talk to other mothers about your experiences. Mummy blogs make me feel far less isolated as a mum.
Absolutely! My husband just persuaded me to start a Mummy Blog and it is the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done. It’s very refreshing to read how other people are doing and know that there is no such thing as perfect, way better than speaking to professionals for advice in my limited experience. Keep it up, I love reading your blog!
Oh thanks so much lovely – that’s really kind of you x
Though not one myself, I do admire parenting bloggers. I think it’s such a fantastic community and I know many parents who may not write blogs, but read them a lot and don’t feel alone. Shoutout to the mummies!
Thanks lovely!
I loved this article and the way that you write…it sounds as if you would say the same things were we sitting together having a cup of tea…I agree, it is being genuine that draws readers to mommy blogs…sharing in the real struggles rather than the vain…
Ahh thanks Nancy x
I love reading mummy blogs. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone with all the crazy shit that life throws at me (I am allowed to say that here, yeah?) I tried being a mummy blogger and it’s not easy! I much prefer writing about fashion and beauty. But that’s the fab thing about this little online space – we’re all free to write about whatever we want. Some people love sharing their parenting stories, others like reviewing their new favourite lipstick, and others just have a story to tell. Everyone is amazing and doing a fab job. I’m so glad you didn’t let this nasty woman get to you Harriet. She’s probably just jealous that she doesn’t have a blog as brilliant as yours 🙂
Louise x
Ha, thanks Lou!
Mummy bloggers definitely have a bad rep – and I’ve had my fair share of run ins – but I’ve just gone to your Nandos post and I honestly don’t get it? What’s the problem with you sharing this experience? I’m a fashion & beauty blogger and I see people complaining about things like how they couldn’t get a new palette in Debenhams or how the shop assistants in Topshop were rude – pretty mundane shit compared to a group of older girls looking down on your child.
Unfortunately people on Facebook groups are literally waiting in the wings to pitchfork people these days. I really hope these people don’t put you off!
Ha, thanks Jess. Nope, not put off at all, and you are right – there does seem to be someone lurking in these groups every time doesn’t there?!
I definitely think that mummy bloggers have an important role in the blogosphere. Go you!
Thanks lovely x
I don’t have children myself, but I love reading Mummy blogs!
Even more so that I found out I’m gonna be an auntie 🙂
Dani x
Oh how exciting Dani! Enjoy 🙂
I don’t have children myself but I love reading family blogs, or watching their youtube videos! I don’t understand why people are so negative about bloggers! xo
Me either Dena!
I think most bloggers bring a level of reality to the world and that’s why it has taken off so well. Parent bloggers in particular are really important to the mums and dads who are feeling isolated and alone. The parents who are struggling to get out of beds or are fighting with the constant mess and chaos that family life brings. It’s great to read about their people having similar or the same issues as you. Sticks tongue out at snarky commenter!
Exactly Anthea, thanks x
I love this post! Mummy bloggers, definitely have a place in the world. It can be so beneficial the have an outlet, and finding people you connect with, that you wouldn’t have been able to before!
Thanks lovely x
Fab post as always. That woman sounds very bitter.
She does doesn’t she?
Can’t believe how rude some people can be! I’m not a mummy (and never will be, just my personal choice) and there are some mummy blogs that I enjoy reading – it helps me give advice to friends and I do have the odd chuckle along the way.
Thanks Sarah x
What a fab post and power to the mummy blogger for 2017 I’m in the mummy blogger camp. Facebook parent groups can be so patronising and nasty I just can’t bear to read some of the comments I tend to stick to my twin Grouos now as the mummy’s in there are so nice x
Preach Lisa!
Firstly that photo is so cute! Secondly, I am not a Mother myself but I adore your blog and think it has always shown a true insight into being a parent, a partner, a woman, it’s refreshing to see someone be so open and honest about life and not sugar coat it. Sounds like the person who said “I bet her little snowflake was being a right little shit” needs to look in the mirror and the dictionary because her photo is definitely next to the definition of little shit!
Thanks lovely x
I can’t believe how rude some people can be. One day they will be parents and it will play on their mind how they treated you, I so wish I had a blog like yours when I was a mum starting our X
Right?! Some people are just rotten eh?
I hate the connotations of ‘mummy blogger’ but obviously describe myself as one anyway and totally agree with you. They are so important to making life appear normal with kids. I get most of my information from the mummy bloggers and wouldn’t be half as informed about things if I didn’t read mum blogs.
I agree – yes, I’m not a fan of the term, but I thought it was a really unfair generalisation.
I agree that mummy bloggers can give you a healthy dose of realism and remind you that adult life has many difficulties as well as reads. “Perfect” bloggers only perpetuate all sorts of modern issues with FOMO and comparing yourself to other people etc. Great post!
Thanks lovely x
What a nerve that women had to say those things. I think mummy bloggers are incredibly important to show that not every parents life is perfect x
Thanks lovely!
For me, I don’t have any kids in my life or experience with them so when I come to have children, mummy bloggers will be vital for me to learn from experience xxx
Right – it’s frequently people who are either considering kids in the future or expecting, the only truly honest place is a mum blog!
This is so good…it’s refreshing to have a little tongue in cheek from a parent blogger, and not being a parent myself sometimes it’s hard to connect but this was great! x
Thanks Leah x
Cor! Something rattled that lady’s cage! Your daughter is absolutely divine little snowflake and so what if she was being naughty – she is a child and completely entitled to. As you are entitled to have an opinion as it is your hard work that goes into being a mummy blogger. Continue to be proud!
Thanks for such a lovely comment Helen!
That lady has a cheek! I never sugarcoat parenting on my blog, it’s bloody hard and I struggle with it. In future those women should keep scrolling and keep their noses out. Jo x
Exactly! Thanks lovely x
I have to admit, I don’t read any mummy blogs because I don’t see the appeal, but I think when I have my own children I’ll be relying on them a lot for advice!
Exactly! There is a place for them, it’s not for everyone but it’s important to acknowledge that all bloggers, vloggers, sloggers etc have a place!
I think that bloggers do have a place – being a mum can be so isolating so it’s nice to know others have had similar experiences or to know that something is totally normal x
Thanks Sarah x
I’m not a mum myself and rarely even read mummy blogs, but I definitely didn’t picture this to happen here! This woman is clearly the one who thinks she is a special snowflake who has to come to the rescue of some annoying teenagers. Pff.
Thanks Elodie x
It always amazes me that people have the time and energy to comment on things that annoy them. If she doesn’t like parent blogs, she can sod off.
Preeeeeacchhhhh Danni! Scroll on by is a philosophy to live by – I wish I had the time to comment on random stuff haha!
Teenage girls being teenage girls can be horrible to be around but hopefully, it is a phase they will grow out of and turn back into decent human beings. Adults who make nasty, cruel comments on social media are another case entirely. Karma will come around and give her exactly what she deserves at some point.
Thanks Teresa x
That lady has some nerve! I love reading “mummy blogs” even though I don’t have children myself and probably can’t relate but they make me realise that there is not one way to parent and that if I were to have children then to not freak out if I do something differently to another parent
Thanks SarahJane – exactly, everyone is different and if we support each other in that the word improves A LOT.
That elf outfit it adorable! I am so pleased you wrote this. You seem like a blogger who has her head screwed on. I don’t have children but you write in a way that is real! I love that. Power on!
Ahah thank you!
Mummy blogger power! You are indeed refreshing and I am delighted to follow you!
Oh thank you Lauren, you are lovely x
that is a horrendous experience. how rude of them to make those comments when they weren’t even there to experience it and make quick judgement. blogs help others when you don’t realise it and its such a beautiful feeling when they say it’s helped them. no one should underestimate the power of blogs these days
Exactly Nicol, exactly!!
This is so true, I love how we live in an age where we can turn to the internet and find parents we can relate to. Bloggers that make us realise our fails are actually learning curves, our ‘excitable’ children aren’t actually possessed and two (or three) glasses of wine on an evening does NOT point to borderline alcoholism! Keep on keeping on ?
That is what I love too Anna!
Wow.. You’d think someone in a mum group would be sympathetic and understanding towards your cause and not so judgemental. I think that’s shocking.
Oh gawwwd no, mum groups are vicious places in my experience, with the support far and few between!
Cheeky MOO and its a good job it wasn’t in my moms group !!!! Your little snowflake is one of us and woe betide any judgemental crank wants to take on real mothers who through blood, sweat and tears pour out ad share their inner secrets and demons in the hope of helping just one person out there!
YES Emma! All the YES! Your group is one of the few I know of that is tacked together with kindness, support and friendship.
Great post! In my humble opinion, those that think Mummy blogs are all just sweetness and light DON’T READ THEM! Keep bossing it, lady x
Thank you awesome lady xx
How horrible to have those comments! Parenting blogs have such an important place online, people sharing real experiences. That’s what blogging has always been about!
Yes! It’s so important!
I love how honest a lot of bloggers are becoming! Authentic blogging is the new norm! Love it!
xoxo, Candice
Absolutely Candice, that’s how it should be right?
I’m not a mom and I never want to be. I do however think that blogs like yours are really good as other moms and even dads can read the info on them. I go out to restaurants a lot and i’m really familiar with the sort of people in Nando’s you were talking about. They really get on my nerves too. I was in a restaurant once with my friend and there was a group of gossping girls giving me filthy looks, just because she didn’t like the way I looked. Those sorts of people get on my nerves.
It’s horrible isn’t it? It doesn’t matter whether you have kids or not, if you are around these people you are in the firing line!
You are absolutely spot on and just keep on doing what you are doing. You are open and honest and completely refreshing and people don’t need to see some fake perfect life on social media. They want and need to see that others are going through the same thing they are and to connect and not feel so alone x
Thank you lovely x
I completely agree – there’s a place for mummy bloggers in 2017 just as there is a place for all kind of bloggers. It’s a shame some people don’t realise that and can post negative comments without thinking x
Yes! All bloggers have a place, in the same way that all people have a place in the world if its to make it better 🙂
I think its important to show that parenting isn’t perfect and be honest with what goes on some days. I do hate it when I see other people making mean comments on things they know nothing about. If they weren’t there, know u or read ur blog than really have no place to say stuff about u and ur family.
Exactly, thanks Joanna x
I hardly ever have the time to actually comment on posts these days but I read your blog all the time and just had to comment this time (plus Wills is asleep thank god!). First of all- uh ruuuuude!! What a nasty woman!! Second – very well said!!! I love reading about real people and real lives and actually it is the posts about hardship etc that I prefer sometimes as it makes that person real. She obviously isn’t a blog reader otherwise she would know. That or she reads the wrong types of blog!! xxx
Ahh thank you for such a lovely comment darling lady – it is very VERY much appreciated that you read. I know what you mean about not having time haha! I struggle too. You are so right – it’s the normality in life that people want to know about now, the things that make them feel less wanting, like they are missing out, and the support and together-ness (not a word>..) of it all!x
Oh my goodness. The cheek. I read your post on the teenagers in Nandos and chuckled to myself, it was the first post I’d read of yours and I started following you on Instagram, and can honestly say you make my day with your IG stories! I love your honesty. It’s refreshing and inspiring, and makes me feel more normal. I’m new to this blogging malarkey, but all I want is to be honest, and maybe make one persons day, or at least make them feel they’re not alone. And you’re doing that. And that’s something to be proud of. Glad you’re clearly the type of person who doesn’t give too much of a shit and keeps doing your stuff, and in the process helps other parents out there. Crawl back in your hole judgemental mummy Facebook group person!
Ahh thank you so much for such a lovely lovely comment Emma! I think that’s the thing isn’t it? If you don’t think it’s relevant, scroll past and ignore it. Anonymity online has a lot to answer for!