Have you ever heard the saying “Little pigs have big ears”? It’s something that my mum used to say to me all the time when I was little and she knew I was ear wigging – which lets be honest, kids do a lot.
So, as I now have three little pigs (there’s a big bad wolf reference to be made somewhere in there…) I feel like I have to be extra careful what opinions I share with or in front of them. You guys already know my thoughts on swearing in front of kids – you can explain that is something that grown ups can say but they can’t – but if you ask yourself how many times you’ve been chatting to a friend in front of your kids and shared an opinion that you wouldn’t want repeated, how often do you think that would be?
I’m willing to say pretty darn often, because we all pass comments on things that we maybe wouldn’t want repeated.
It can be really innocent comments like, “I’m not sure xyz has lost weight, she doesn’t look it but I know she’s been trying hard”, to the downright bitchy, “Well, I can’t stand xyz, I hate them.” We ALL do it. Ask yourself whether or not you want that comment shared though? Truth is probably not.
Last week we were driving to school and I asked Reuben why a little girl in his class hadn’t been there for over a week. He told me she had left because “she hated Miss XYZ”… Now this is one of my son’s teachers, who I happen to think is pretty bloody fab – a feeling he shares (most of the time ha!) – but it is no secret to anyone that not every parent is going to share the same opinion, nor is every child. It’s just the way it goes. What really got me, and by that I mean irritated the shit out of me, was that Reuben then went on to tell me that he was told by another little boy in class because the little girl and her mum are really good friend’s with this little boy’s family, so they go and visit them all the time. The parent of the little girl who left was very vocal, in front of this child who is still at school, about her dislike of the school, the staff and the education system in general, not to mention encouraging the child to share her feelings with her little friend, who then promptly shared them with my son. Best of all, Reuben is stupidly naive enough to go straight to his much beloved teacher and repeat everything – another thing he graciously informed me he’d done, which left me cringing into my seat.
In a lot of instances (though I suspect not so much here) we say things in front of our kids that we don’t want repeated but really, what are the consequences if they are repeated? Well, in this case, my son was told off for being cheeky and ultimately it undermined the staff member in question – which isn’t on, irrespective of how you feel about them, you need them to do a job which is often hard enough as it is. If you have a strong opinion about someone who is in a position of authority that your child has to respect, you, as their key role model, have to be careful about what you say and do. This was clearly a blatant attempt to cause a bit of trouble, but I do have to wonder how many times has someone innocently said to another adult in front of their children, “I don’t like my child’s teacher/swim teacher/friend’s parent”? School gate titters that have frustrated you lead to talking to your partner or a friend at home and suddenly your little piggy has gone into school to kindly inform their mate that you think their parent is an asshat.
It happens. Just take a look at how many people have been shown up in front of their in laws, parents or other family members.
So, next time before you make that comment that you don’t want to be repeated, take a look around and ask yourself, are those little piggies wagging their ears?
H x
Oh dear. I really feel for the poor teacher in this instance. I find that it’s the parents who hate disciplining their child and who resent the school trying to do it instead that are the worst for causing trouble. Then the child in question goes off to another school and it all starts up again – no surprise. I really wouldn’t be a teacher these days. We do watch what we say though because our two have excellent hearing and almost total recall!
YES!! So did I, she’s a bloody brilliant teacher (from our perspective) and I think there is nothing worse that someone undermining your authority. You’ve got a problem with them, tell em, but don’t involve the kids!
I totally agree with you. Our little one is reaching that age where she’s able to understand what we’re talking about so we try to be very careful with our words.. “Try” of course.. 😉 xx
Thanks lovely x
Very good advice – I’d also add ‘if you cant say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ My kids are 8 and 10 so I have to be ultra careful, especially in front of my daughter. If you lower your voice you can visibly see her ears prick up! It’s so difficult to explain to kids not to repeat stuff, particularly when we are also trying to teach them not to tell lies and always be kind. Adults must seem very contrary to kids!
Haha very true Sarah!
Lovely post. I’m sure it’s very relatable to mums out there x
Thanks Emma!
As I dont have children, I often never think about thinking before I speak oops x
Haha I have three and still forget!
oh i have to really careful with this one.. yep my little one has said things back to me and i thought she was watching tv or playing and not even listening
Haha they all do it right?!
Yes this is so true, it’s impossible to control the mouths of children so we should be really careful about what we say in front of them!
It is!!
oops. Should be warning for me as I speak boldly in front of the children, though I am not a Mum. I better watch out next time I visit my nephews.
Haha I do it all the time and I am a mum!
Oh wow it’s amazing how far something gets spread when you say it in front of little ears. They’re such sponges aren’t they. Evie is two and often repeats snippets of conversation. Luckily it’s not been anything bad. xx
Truth!
I definitely feel your pain. I remember learning the hard way when my kids were little lol! They are not afraid to repeat things!
Not at all haha!
oh my goodness this has happened to me a lot recently!! I hear my voice coming out of my daughter all the time and she has said a few things I would rather she hadn’t!!! x
Haha it’s scary isn’t it!?
Ekkk I can only imagine the things that are said, heard and repeated at times by children! x
Oh it’s priceless!
Oh so true! Little ones just repeat the most inappropriate of things they’ve heard in the most inappropriate of times! It can be hilarious or plain embarrassing!
I think it’s a bit of both all the time haha!
Yea they do. They repeat everything they hear now so I am very careful with what I say.
Ha, so careful!
This is so true!! Monkey has been doing it more and more recently and as he gets older I sometimes wonder if there’s more to it than innocence!! X
There is, I’m sure!
OH MY GOSH that picture is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Great post, I do sometimes wonder how much of what kids say is repeated straight from their parents!
Ha, it is pretty cute right?!
This is so true! My little girl is literally like a parrot right now so having to really watch what I say….Daddy is very to slow to learn on this front as is her grandma – eek!
Haha it’s so hard right?!
I thought this was a little old tale, that was until the last few months as my niece has slowly got older and she starts coming out with things I’ve said to my wife. You just have to look at each other and think… Oh god she was listening in the background!
At least we know now if she’s around she will be listening haha! 😛
Haha yes be careful what you say!
This is such a good post! I am not at this point of Erin being able to repeat anything but I would hate for her to overhear something like that and then repeat it.
Thanks Lyndsey 🙂
Oh dear, what on earth was that woman thinking? Obviously, not very much. My husband and I don’t discuss anything “controversial” in front of our daughter, because we know that she might (like your son), repeat it to her friends. “My mum and dad said so-so” in the school gate. Oh dear. We used to spell out words before, but can’t even do that anymore because she can spell and read now 🙁
I know?! So undermining and inappropriate. Yes, we have occasionally “spelt” the word but Roo will now ask, Who are you talking about, I know you’re spelling it out so I don’t know…
Awwwwkward!
I’m not a mum and never even thought about this, but it’s true I never think twice before saying anything in front of the children in my family. Oops!
Ha, you don’t though do you!
I have noticed this lately a LOT! My friends daughter often says to her about things she said – especially when we had no idea she was even listening! Very in tune are kiddies
Yes!! It’s so worrying… who will they repeat it to haha?!