There really isn’t a love like the one you feel for your child, is there? Some moments I’m overcome with it.
When I’m holding Edith’s little hand, and I look at those perfect little fingers.
When she reaches out to me for a cuddle and grips my arms as I lift her up.
When she looks up at me, with such trust and love, as I feed her.
When Reuben is physically bouncing with excitement to show me his latest achievement as I collect him from school.
When he nuzzles into me after a bad dream. Or when he holds my face in his still pudgy little hands and says “You know something mummy? I love you!”
When Toby leans against me, as I cuddle up and we look at his books.
Or when he’s shouting carry just so he can be close.
All these things, they fill you with a love that is transcendent, that is beyond this mortal plane if there is such a thing. You know you would do anything to protect them, anything to keep them out of harms way. Does anyone else feel like this from time to time? Just totally overcome with the emotion that you feel for your kids? I mean, it’s not all fun and games is it? It can be tiring and demoralising, like when they turn around and shout “ohhh YOU came, I wanted Daddy!” Or “not you, I want Maw Maw to read to me.” It’s hard isn’t it? The way that they hold your heart in their little fingers. And yet they give you a strength you never knew your possessed.
Our children are the very foundation of our being, they become the very center of who we are, though they don’t become all we are. It’s like being a Phoenix when you have a child, you get chucked into the fire and reborn… You’re still a mythical bird but now there’s something different. (Can you tell I’m writing these parenthood ramblings at 2am during Edith’s third wake up of the night? Friggin’ mythical bird?!?)
I guess I just wanted to share with you all the thoughts going through my head and my love for my children. I spend a tonne of time writing honestly about parenting and that frequently includes the less pleasant side, and I think sometimes it can be easier to focus purely on the bad side of things, as opposed to seeing the full picture.
Being a mother is one of the most wonderful and fulfilling things anyone could ever do. It’s hard and it’s not for everyone, but it’s certainly for me and I feel blessed to have the love in my life that these wonderful human beings bring.
H x
Great post. When I was pregnant with my 2nd my daughter wouldn’t let me take her to bed and it was starting to upset me but tables have changed and now she only wants me to take her.
Oh that must have been hard Jemma! Pleased the tables have turned again 🙂 H x
I can completely relate to this! Sometimes i just look at Corben and could burst into tears because i’m overwhelmed with love for him. So exciting watching them grow and learn. I do feel so blessed and don’t know what i’d be doing if i wasn’t a mother!
Great post
– Cydney x
It’s insane isn’t it Cydney!? H x
Such a lovrly post. I totally feel like this Blake is everything to me I’m blessed to have him in my life.
Aww thanks Joanna, I’m sure he is lucky to have you too x
Oh I love this Harriet. It’s so heartfelt and beautiful. There is nothing more pure than total love like what you describe xx
Thanks Zoe xx
Ah this brought a tear to my eye. Beautiful post. Lucky kids to have such a wonderful and loving mama. You rock!!
Oh thanks Kellie – I get very emotional at 2am! H x
😥
Wow. You’ve just made me so emotional! It’s like you’ve reached inside my befuddled mama brain and expressed what I’ve been feeling for the last 20 months since my cray-cray twins were born! Only, I haven’t quite been able to find the words… And here you are, writing near poetry at 2am (“The way that they hold your heart in their little fingers”)…
It’s at times like this that I feel bad for all the times I shout at them, get frustrated with them or wish my house was tidier lol.
Ahhh thank you! I re-read it in the light of day and thought – phoenix? Really? But I think I got my point across. I too suffer from that guilt for constantly shouting and hooraying. I’ve just upset up four year old by telling him I should have gone back to work instead of going freelance just so I could get away from Edith who seems to view my office chair as a red flag and opportunity to scream and cry. Now feeling mean because he got really teary eyed and said “I don’t want you to go to work again, I like you at home”… *mummy fail*!