Happy International Sibling day!!
It’s been a while since I’ve talked about the kids and their sibling bonds, so I thought that I would throw in a little update as I get questions all the time about being a mum of three, usually things like “how do you find having an odd number?”, “is your middle child ever left out?” and “is it truly harder to travel and go to theme parks etc?”
Well, the answers to all of these questions about being a mum of three is “it depends”.
Edith and Reuben have always had a special bond. From the moment that he laid eyes on her at 3 years old he has been besotted with her. Edith has looked on Reuben as a secondary caregiver too, she will go to him if she hurts herself and her dad and I are not in the room, she will sit on his knee if she is close to him and she will try to get into his bed for cuddles on a night – though that part is more to avoid actually going to sleep on both their parts.
In a way I guess this does mean that Toby gets left out a bit, he isn’t looked on as the caregiver by her and the pair of them come to blows more often than they are cuddling or playing together. I mentioned a time ago that Toby and Edith had started to play together more and that is where their bond lies, as pals, as buddies who turn on each other in the blink of an eye. Reuben and Toby are much the same, they play together, though Reuben’s natural inclination to look after and almost “parent” his siblings annoys the shit out of Toby and is more likely to result in a bickering fest than it is play. They have their own little games though; games that Edith is too young for and I’ve noticed that as they get older they are less inclined to let her join in and wreck the joint, even Roo will tell her no and continue his play with Toby.
I find that as a mother, having an odd number of children is often a worry – something I’ve totally put on myself and I’ve had pushed on me by friends and family always mentioning the “oh is the middle one going to be excluded” and “oh you know middle kids are always unhappy”. Logically, I know this is rubbish – just as rubbish as the old “only kids are unhappy” bollocks that I had to contend with as a child. It’s simply not true, BUT as a mother, I am often worrying that Reuben, who takes himself off to his room for whole days because he likes to play alone and chill out on his kindle, is pushed out by the fact that his siblings need more of my attention. If not that, I worry that Toby is left out as the middle one, that Edith doesn’t get the same amount of love and affection or care because she’s the youngest and I’ve rode this rodeo a few times. Having three is triple the worry for me, but it’s so worth it for moments like these (pictured above) when you watch the kids playing together or smiling.
With regards to is is harder to go away or do things? Yes and no. There are a lot of places now where you can get a family of 5 ticket, but in truth, most rides are for 4 or a 2 and a 2. It does become harder, it would be a lie to say it didn’t. It becomes a tough thing to go on holiday as you end up paying for 2 rooms instead of 1 on frequent occasions, however you can get lucky sometimes and a family room is for 5. The truth is though, you end up adapting to your circumstances. Instead of going away to a hotel, you hire a cottage. Instead of going to a theme park, you go to a park or a free place. You learn how to be a larger family that not all of society is catered to.
I often think that I would like another child, after years of saying that I was totally 100% done, I have changed my mind and I can’t say for sure that I would never have another child. The sibling dynamic would be something I would have to wait and see!
H 🙂
*The children are playing with Baby Born and Baby Born sibling. Edith adores her babies and the boys both like getting involved with her games if the bath is out, Reuben more so than Toby (Toby likes the rubber duck!)
