The importance of having “me-space”

Something that I think every parent can relate to is the unfathomable amount of STUFF that comes from having children. Christ on a bike: THE STUFF!!

Toys, clothes, bibs, muslin squares, more toys, bikes, scooters, teddies, blankets, feeding accessories, drinks bottles that seem to breed in a way that I have never been able to understand… STUFF everywhere. It takes over, multiples and encompasses every space you ever thought was yours. You go from having neat (ahem, neat-ish?) living room spaces or kitchens to having something that resembles a war zone – only the battle was valiantly fought by tacky plastic gaudiness and fleecy plush toys. If you are a clutter-phobe like me, the STUFF will give you a neurotic eye twitch that can seldom be cured by anything other than a good tidy up on a child free weekend or blinkers.

So, to avoid said eye twitch in our sleep, we’ve always been rather strict with the kids when it comes to their STUFF (always to be noted in capitals, as is its station) in our bedroom. We will allow the boys to bring their toys into our room over the weekend if we are having a quiet morning or perhaps if we’re trying to get showered and ready to go out, but as a general rule, toys stay out of our room, as do their clothes and other many, many things.

It’s not that we are mean, but we made the decision to try and keep our room child-clutter free (other than the crib and necessary evils of having a new baby in your room) when it started to take over every other area of the house. You have to have something for yourself don’t you? I find it hard enough to contain Adam’s excessive messiness and cluttering ability so I felt that it was important to have a place where I could be “Harriet” and not “Mummy” all the time. A place to feel a division between the two… I originally tried for the bathroom but after sitting on one too many rubber ducks and water pistols, I changed my mind.

Another deciding factor was when Reuben was playing on the bed with his transformers, jumped up and zoooooooomed one around, only to smash into our wicker light and knock down the ceiling rose and leave us with a light that was hanging at an odd angle and never really went back up again…

Since then, we’ve re done our room and it is ADULT only in the sense that nothing about it screams “children live here”. We have a stunning copper light from Socket Store which fits with our bedroom theme of cream and gold, we’ve tried to keep it neutral but not bland. I have a real thing for white bedding – makes me feel like I can imagine I’m in a hotel (so I can pretend I won’t be disturbed after an hour’s sleep…) which I bought from Dunelm Mill as a treat, along with a quilt that goes over the bottom. To finish it off as “our space”, (by that I probably mean mine – Adam would have football shirts adoring the wall and if you can imagine a university dorm room… that is the clutter level we’re reaching in Casa de la Adam) I have a painting that we bought on honeymoon in Cuba. It’s a car that Adam really fell in love with and I think it goes perfectly with the rest of the room.

I guess it’s not really important how you decorate your room (though I know some would fiercely disagree and say that it’s crucial for creating harmony) but more about remembering that you are more than just “mum” or “dad” and should have a space in your home that is for you, not really the old you pre-kids, but the evolved you.

Where is your happy place?

H x