Happy 1st Birthday Edith Rose!

Well, the day has arrived!! Edith Rose turns one year old today. Pass me the tissues, I can’t stop blubbing. How do people just rock past this first birthday without getting emotional.

Seriously, how?

The last few days I have spent time stopping and looking at her little fingers, into those eyes – that are turning a wonderful Hazel-green-brown combo – and inhaling her scent like she is the best scented rose in the world. Which, of course, she is to me. Sigh. The last year has been a rollercoaster for me. Some days I have LOVED and cherished but more often than not I have felt like a crazed swan, feet going crazy beneath the water to keep me afloat, but unlike everyone else doing the same on the lake, I’m flapping the fuck out of my wings because this shit is hard. I’ve been desperately praying for Edith to get a bit older, get a bit easier and more independent in herself. Sleep better. Play without physical contact to me. All those things and more.

Now it’s here. She’s playing more during the day and is letting me do bits and bobs. She has FINALLY decided that I can put her in her own bed (!!) awake (!!) and walk out of the room with minimal tears, we’re talking maybe a quick shout and whinge, then purely content sleep. She trusts that I won’t abandon her and has grown to understand that concept. She’s ready for me to take her crib down and reclaim the space in my bed. All of these things make me delighted, more than delighted, but at the same time, so very sad and wistful. It’s not that I’m missing the tough times, I’m not, but I’m painfully aware of how fast this childhood thing goes and I don’t want her to keep growing so quick.

Anyway, I’ve put together a few pictures of her past year, purely for the adorable factor. And yes, I blubbed as I did it.