Mother shaming :: Victoria Beckham’s kiss

Earlier on in the week there was a news story that, quite frankly, I could only imagine breaking on a slooooow news week, or maybe the gossip columns of the Daily Fail. Thing is, this wasn’t a slow week for news at all – come on people, we got a new Prime Minister (who is a total cockwomble) and the political parties have been melting like candles in the sun, not to mention all the sports stuff that has happened (Ronaldo’s moth attack anyone?). It has been a pretty news worthy week, but rather than flip out over the invasion of Paris by moths or the very real, very important political shit tip that our country seems to be at the moment, Britain had a bitch fit over Victoria Beckham kissing her daughter on the lips.

Yup, you read that right compadre. Kissing YOUR child on the lips is, according to some of the masses, horrendous. News worthy even.

I’ll state right off the bat that I am neither a Beckham fan nor hater, I am what one would term ambivalent to the whole stardom thing (she wasn’t even my favourite Spice Girl #Gingerforlife) so my thoughts and feelings on this come exclusively from a place as a mother. Who the fuck doesn’t kiss their kids on the lips? I do, everyone I know does and I have never met anyone who has told me they think it’s weird… so where are these people? Come forth and announce yourselves so we can all tell you to get a grip.

This really is what worries me about our society, that anyone could sexualise a mother’s kiss is beyond me. It baffles me. Motherhood is pure, loving and all encompassing to those of us lucky enough to have taken that wild and wacky journey, but it is never and should never be a sexualised thing. Children should never be sexualised, and to a child a kiss is simply a display of affection from their parent. I can only imagine the horror if it had been David Beckham kissing his daughter on the lips as opposed to her mother – which I’d just like to point out is no different. A PARENT/child relationship should never be sexualised. Apart from the mind-boggling stupidity of sexualising a mother’s kiss, I am also deeply frustrated by the mother shaming that this scenario highlights. Is there anything that we, as mothers, aren’t shamed for now?

Here’s a little run down of the basics: being gross for breastfeeding, being unhealthy for not breastfeeding, abusive for smacking, not strict enough for not smacking, shouting too much and creating anxious kids, not shouting enough and being a lax mother, not paying enough attention and being neglectful, paying too much attention and creating wimps, being wasteful and using disposable nappies, being a hippy and using cloth nappies, not losing weight fast enough and being lazy, losing weight too fast and promoting a bad body image to your child… these are just the few I have heard over the last week and could think of off the top of my head. There is literally no end to what you will be shamed for as a mother. And now we get to add kissing our children on the lips to the list…

Where does it stop?

If we teach our children now that kissing on the lips is inherently sexual, even when between a mother and a child, does that not sit that we are a.) sexualising children which leads to all sorts of worrying questions and b.) teaching them that every relationship is inherently sexual, and thus, moving back to point a, they are sexual beings? Surely that is going to lead to some seriously confused kids.

This whole topic really upset me, it just didn’t sit right at all. There is so much sadness and despair in the world now, truly it is one fucked up place, what is the need for us to find damage or destruction in something that is so simple and pure?