I often think that playgroups get a bit of a rotten reputation really. I mean, we’ve all heard about the “judgey-pants mums” and how you are analysed and critiqued to within an inch of your latte sipping life. The truth is, I’ve been to a mixture of playgroups in my time – some nice, some not so nice, but all of them equally important.
Look, you don’t need me to tell you that motherhood is tough. And lonely sometimes, despite the fact that you are never alone – even when we’re talking about toilet breaks. Motherhood can be hard, almost impossibly so, so finding your “mum tribe” is a must. What the fuck is a mum tribe I hear you cry!? Well, a mum tribe is a group of mums who support each other, lift each other up and above all else never tear each other down. Ever. They are there to talk about the poonamis, the feeling that you are a permanent cast member of The Walking Dead, and the amazement that you can adore one little person so much when they bite your nipples, scream in your face and wake you up at 3am to watch sky planner re-runs of Sofia the First (not projecting.) A mum tribe is a mum’s support network and while you might not be guaranteed to find this at a playgroup, its as good a place as any to start.
So what else is essential about playgroups?
1.) You pay pennies or they are free
It’s like going and telling your children that they can free-for-all in toys r us for 2 hours while you watch them create mess and havoc that isn’t in your house! This is usually for the going rate of £1-3 per child. If it is a community run playgroup and there are organisers then you don’t actually have to tidy up either (though I always think it’s nice to help put away whatever the kids have pulled out).
2.) Social interactions for both of you
I was never really very good at meeting new people and putting myself out there for new social interactions, I just didn’t really have the confidence and then when the little ones came along I told myself I had to “get out there” for them… and my sanity. Yes, playgroups are great for socialising your little ones, especially if they don’t go to a preschool or nursery, but we can’t really underestimate how important it is to socialise ourselves too – you can’t be stuff with someone who comes up to your knee and whose main vocabulary is made up of ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ sounds. So get out there, and if you join a group that you don’t think fits, don’t go back – it’s not a gym, you aren’t bound to go.
3.) Mini shopping wish lists?
How to find out what baby crap not to buy your baby and what to buy them… take them to a play group! I buy E all the stuff that I like, and I’ve noticed that she isn’t that inspired by some of it (she will be, I just tend to buy older because having older kids encourages the “longevity” thought process) but when we have been to playgroup there is one toy that she seeks out EVERY time and always spends most of the time playing with it. It’s bright, gaudy and makes A LOT of noise. Humph. If she were due a birthday or Christmas, this would give me a great idea of what to add to her wish list.
4.) Nap time guaranteed
Edie hates naps. Hates em. With the fiery passion of a Khaleesi. That being said, she is always willing to go to the land of nod after a session at playgroup, as is Toby. It’s not just physical energy they are expending, there is mental energy too – social engagement, finding the right route to charge about, which playgroup snack to refuse and whose beaker to steal – so much mental energy! It’s a great way to get the nap time rolling, and in turn you *might* get chance to have a quiet cuppa.
5.) Learning new things
So, you get together with a group of people who are in the same position as you and then you chat about said position – it’s not rocket science, you are going to learn something new aren’t you? In turn, mums are going to learn something from you, and I always think that is a beautiful thing about playgroup. If you can all learn from each other, be open minded and friendly with one another, then you are guaranteed to have a mountain of mum knowledge to share.
What has been your experience of playgroups?
H x
Great post, I think it is about time I take no3 to playgroup. I’ve been so busy that I totally forgot i did it with my other 2.
It happens to everyone Melanie 🙂
What a lovely post. I’m sure this is helpful to mums out there who are considering joining one!
Thanks lovely! x
These sound like some great reasons to join a play group – I am sure it is fun for the kids and a time for mums and dads to chat as well.
Thanks Sarah, it really is!
Definitely! I don’t understand why playgroups get such a bad reputation they are really not that bad and your so right about the latte sipping judgey mums. I used to take my sister to playgroup and my nephew and the amount of people that would sit there and slag me off because they thought I was a teenage mum.
Bahahaha I would have just smiled and waved! Yes, you should never let a judgemental person put you off going to these things! H x
I have run many playgroups/ toddler groups over the years and they are a great place for new mums to meet and for children to learn to interact with other children, especially if they don’t have any siblings, what isn’t so great is seeing all those little toddlers now who all tower above me and make me realise that I am actually getting old!
Thanks Mandi – I hope it encourages someone to go! H x
I always took my first daughter to play group and we both loved it. I made friends and so did my daughter. I moved village when i had my second and i didnt know of any local x
It’s great isn’t it Beth?!
I went to playgroups when I was super young and I remember really enjoying them – great for everyone to be social x
Exactly Hannah!
I can add 6th – perfect opportunity for swaps.
I have no idea why this is happening but very often we are ending up with more than one of something… so playgroup comes handy to swap it out 🙂
Yes – genius Agata! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this! It is such an easy place to trade with other mums 🙂
I don’t have time for playgroups with mine as they’re normally mid-week. Thats the bummer with working mon-fri even though weekends off sound like a good deal 😥
Oh what a bummer Jo! I always think it’s a shame that playgroups are exclusively week day, its a misconception that most people keep weekends for family time. Before I was self employed, I worked saturday and sunday and Adam has only stopped working every day on shift rotas in the last two years. Maybe we should start something for weekends?! x
Aaahhh looks amazing and I am sure your kids love playgroup as it’s just somewhere fun for them to go 😀 x
They do Olivia 🙂
Joining the playgroup attached our local church was a life saver for me when I had my children. A great place for your baby/toddler to socialise and such a great support from other mothers!
Exactly, we’re often too nervous but it’s beneficial for everyone!
This is such a good post and I can see the social aspect being quite important, not just for the little person but for the mum or the dad too x
Absolutely Rachel, though I think it’s harder for Dads because it’s still widely regarded (and wrongly) as a “mum thing” – far too many playgroups are called mum and baby or mother and toddler groups. Grr!
I am expecting my first child and I am definitely going to be going to playgroups – I think it’s so important for them to interact with other children, I am not looking forward to the judgey mums though.
That is wonderful to hear Dannii, totally ignore any judgemental mums – they are most likely doing it to hide an insecurity anyway 🙂
I actually can remember being at playgroup. I had so much fun!
That is a good sign right?!
This does sound like it could be a good idea. It’s definitely nice being able to socialize with other parents.
Absolutely Liz!
Yep, definitely recommend all new mums to go to as many play groups as they can. You can make some great friends and everyone’s local, so you can start life long friendships. A lot of the children will be at the same schools in the future so it’s nice for our kids to have friends that they’ve actually known since they were toddlers. Plus, these mums will also be in the playgrounds so it’s nice when you bump into them.
Thanks Renna, I couldn’t agree more! H x
all great reasons I used to run play groups and they are so helpful to families x
Ahh you are a star then! I would love to, I don’t feel I can right now but I commend anyone who does!
I know my friends who have kids say how great playgroup is as it gices them a bit of time to interact with other parents or have some time alone and it allows the child to start to be social which is great (especially if they don’t have any siblings at home to play with) x
Absolutely!
I joined a playgroup when the kids were newborn but I didn’t like it and neither did they. We did our own thing since then.
Ahh what a shame! It isn’t for everyone I agree xx