Writing love letters for your child.

Sometimes in our day to day life it is hard for us to express our love to our children as much as we may wish to (let’s be honest, how could you ever express that amount of love in words?) but I think that it is vitally important for children to know that they are loved.

While most of us managed to make a pretty darn good job of telling our children that they are loved, we don’t always leave anything behind for them after we are gone. We leave money, we may leave security, we might even leave family heirlooms but we seldom leave our words. And if you have ever suffered the loss of a loved one, especially a parent or older relative you were close to, then you will know that words mean more than anything in the world. Words mean their is a connection.

Every year (sometimes a couple of times a year) I write the boys a love letter, and I put them in their baby books… although I really must remember to source a safe box that will keep them safe (hopefully until they are much, much older) as I intend to keep writing them for at least another 50 years! I know this might sound corney but I think of it as a vital way for me to remind them of exactly how much I truly love them when I’m no longer here. It’s something that I write when I’m alone – no one reads them but me and hopefully them when they are older. I wanted to share this with you and encourage you (if you don’t already) to give writing a love letter to your child a go – think how you would have felt if you had them from your parents.

Here’s a few top tips for writing to your loved ones:

• Find somewhere quiet where you can write without being disturbed. It’s pointless to try and write from the heart if you are distracted by your child.
• Don’t be shy about writing about your feelings. If your children are being challenging of late, put it down, it will no doubt be something to smile over in years to come and a beautiful reminder of these times.
• Write honestly, but not negatively. I don’t think I would want to read a letter filled with things that were negative about myself, would you? In Roo’s last letter I wrote that he was a little ‘ratbag’ at the moment, with the attitude of a teenager and the mouth to match, but that it made me smile to know that he would grow into a wonderfully confident young man (or a delinquent). This kept it lighthearted and funny, he will have known me his whole life and will know this is a jest, something that he can look back on and smile.
• Add pictures. This is something I haven’t honestly done, I do have two books for each of the boys – one is for their first years and the other is a birth to 4 years book, so these are packed with photos, but if you aren’t a baby book person then don’t forget to add pictures. In the age of the camera phone, we forget the power of a printed memory.
• Use nicknames or quote sweet phrases. Time is a funny thing, and you will forget to tell your children some of the hilarious things they have done or said in their younger years and even their teen years. Write them down, cherish them to be special memories past down with love. They all be so welcome.
• Keep everything safe. This is so important, keep the letters together and safe. There is no point in writing a letter and then losing it (I’ve done this… I’m on letter 4 for Reuben and I have already lost one! Not cool). So buy a box that you know will last,  or use some poly mailer bags if you haven’t bought a special box yet, and keep it somewhere safe.

That’s it for tips, the rest is on you. If you do one thing to show your children how much you love them when you are gone – let it be a love letter, that will always mean more than anything else.

Harriet x