7 signs you have a teething baby that only Mamas will get.

I have mentioned a few times now that poor Edith is teething, and boy is she grumpy with it! Reuben would get a sore bottom, Toby bright red cheeks and a temperature, but neither of them had much of a temper with their teeth. Edith is like a rhino coated in itching powder, you put her down she screams, you pick her up and you haven’t done it fast enough damn it! Wahhhh!!!

I can’t say I blame her, toothache sucks, it’s one of the worst pains and it’s perfectly reasonable for her to be a witch, God knows I would be. That being said, as much as I understand and I sympathise with Edie, a teething, grumpy baby makes for a grumpy mama any day of the week. When I thought about it, this is one thing that all mamas will have in common, as every baby teethes, so see if you recognise any of these signs that you are the mama of a teething baby.

1.) Your bodily functions become annoying distractions from your primary purpose: soothing the baby.

Need to pee? Hold it. Need to sit and rest those aching muscles? Forget it. Awh you wanted to sleep? Tough luck mo-fo, whack out that boob or bottle again because I need comfort. These are merely a few of the things your baby is thinking when it comes to your needs – they are not important. I repeat, they are NOT important.

2.) Beloved toys become the enemy and lifeline

I’ve talked about Flora fox, we LOVE Flora fox. Flora is our best friend (next to my boobs, but Flora is detachable and available 24/7) however during serious episodes of teething pains, Flora can insight screams that leave me wondering if one of the boys dipped her in mama’s special hot sauce. Of course in an attempt to soothe my poor little girl, I remove the offending flora fox teddy with haste, only to insight a second bout of shrieks more blood curdling than the last. It would appear Flora is back in vogue and it’s no-win Wednesday (or Thursday… Friday… Saturday… You get the drift).

3.) Teething powder on your nipple.

I don’t care who you are, even Kate Middleton will be feeling this one with Princess Charlotte in months to come. Breastfeeding and teething are not something that go comfortably together, they really aren’t, but one thing that breastfeeding mothers of teething babies everywhere can delight in is a little sprinkling of powder around the nip after every feed.

4.) Speaking of nipples, chew toy much?

Ha. Ow. Ow is the best way to describe this. Babies of the teething variety have zero respect for their mother’s nipples, or their bottles if they are bottle fed. If your little darling is bottle fed, then take a glance at what they are doing to their bottle teat the next time they finish a feed. That vicious gumming that looks painful IS painful. I can tell you that because that is the same treatment Edith is giving my poor, poor nipples after every feed and it looks like she is trying to rip it off with her sweet little gums because she is. Like I said, ow.

5.) Sleep is a thing of the past

You know how the baby *just* started sleeping through? Me neither, but for those of you that do know because you have a child that sleeps (assholes) this is about to grind to a halt. Your ‘good sleeper’ is about to become a raging bundle of teething every few hours, maybe even every hour… Or twenty minutes. Now if your baby hadn’t been a ‘good sleeper’ you would be more prepared for this like I am… Yeah, no pitying looks now huh?!

6.) Forget cling film, we’re redefining clingy.

Clingy babies of the world unite! During teething if mummy moves out of the room; scream. If you are sat alone for any length of time; scream and if she dares to move out of your vision then you should scream scream scream. Edith has always been what most would call a ‘clingy baby’ which I’m totally ok with – I didn’t have another baby so that I could be without her or pass her off to anyone and everyone, in fact I’m quite clingy to her. But, and it’s a pretty significant but, I find it hard to cope with the level of clinginess that comes from a teething baby. If I leave Edie’s field of vision I can guard fed that before long I will be rewarded with a shriek and a demand for my prompt return. It kind of sucks, especially as once I return I am hardly wanted!

7.) Everything you own will henceforth be dowsed in dribble. Deal with it.

Dribble! So much dribble! Pretty much everything is covered in dribble when you have a teething baby, it doesn’t matter what you do – I’m talking paracetamol, ibuprofen, teething powder and liquid all in one shebang – you will still find everything covered in dribble. Bibs will become more than an accessory, they will become something that lives in your bag on a perms any basis, and FYI that bin that your baby soaked and you took it off to replace with a fresh one and stuffed it in your bag? When you find it in a week or so and its crunchy BIN IT.

I hope this makes you feel less alone at 3am when your baby (who used to be a ‘good sleeper’) is shrieking the place down and you are wondering how much more chewing your nipples can take before you cry. Teething sucks.

Harriet x

P.s – Nipples can be chewed indefinitely or so it would appear.